Sunday, December 09, 2007

Yoga Students - The Matriarch

The Matriarch is the mate of the Old Fart. She will be a trillion years old. In class, she will tsk, tsk under her breath, have an air of condescendence, interrupt the teachers with words like, "well, the way I was taught...", give the students the 'look' if they try to save the teacher and finally subdue the class into complete silence, including the teacher. Expect the teacher to stop verbalizing the instructions after the 3rd or 4th pose in the presence of a Matriarch. Everyone will be intimidated by her.

Inner Dialog: Look at all these young bitches. Yea, so what that you're 50 years younger then me. So you have a tight Yoga ass, big deal. At least I know what I'm doing. Been doing Yoga for 60 years. So what that my husband hates me. He's probably in the bar next door anyway. I better not catch his ass there. Anyway, let's see how good you are once we get started. What are you looking at? That right, this is the manual written by the CYO of the Nerd school. You know I'm going to give the teacher a piece of my mind if she starts doing stupid stuff with the poses. Yea, that right Missy, show off your tits in those fancy Yoga cloths. That's right; I don't shop at the crappy GreatTrancendentalYoga Superstore. This unitard I've been wearing for the last 30 years is good enough for me. Screw your stupid sticky mats. This blanket is where it is at...hey, that guy with the gold chains has kind of a nice ass…